After operating my own creative studio for over 2 years (and with over 5 years experience in an agency environment before that), I would have to say that I've paid my dues in the world of design. I've built a name and reputation for award-winning, quality work & service and with that comes a price ($) - however, as one quickly finds out in the world of business, people will ALWAYS try to rip you off. And that is what brings me to this post...think of it as an educational seminar/warning for the types of cretin you will encounter in the world of freelancing.

CLIENT #1: THE HOTSHOT This type of person will trump themselves up to, er, Donald Trump standards. They will talk about how successful their business is and how they dominate their markets. You should be happy to be associated with such an enterprise, they say, and oneday you too can live the jetsetting life of fast cars & dual-coast mansions that they brag about. They promise it; after all, it's not a business relationship but a "personal" one. Then payment is AWOL and you realize that leaving 10,000 voicemail messages is getting you nowhere closer to receiving that elusive cheque. You've been had.

I had an experience like this last year with a man who claimed to be the next Tony Robbins. He would often boast about who he was friends with and what he owned (in retrospect, probably more braggadacio than fact). In the beginning, I was impressed and desperate to add his name to my portfolio. So I did some work. The majority of it was paid for, but there still remains an outstanding balance to this day. However, I quickly learned that I was not the only victim of his schemes.

Other freelance designers, who somehow found out that I was working with Tony Lite™, started sending me e-mails inquiring about how to contact him. They were also owed LOTS of money and told me about how he played them over as well (same dog-and-pony-show, down to the sexual overtures of comments he'd make to other female freelancers). Every phone number/address he gave us was different; none generated a response. We'd been had. The depth of the deception we uncovered was quite elaborate. If only we would have found each other sooner. We can look back and laugh (albeit through gritted teeth), but you won't once you start working for "The Hotshot".

CLIENT #2: THE CHEAPSKATE "The Hotshot" is a faux designer label-wearing crossbreed of the "The Cheapskate", but worthy of it's own post because the "The Hotshot" doesn't make asinine comments about how design is "easy" and that they could do it themselves if only they had the software. No, "The Cheapskate" is not only frugal but also disrespectful. They are to be avoided at all costs, not only for financial reasons but also self-esteem ones.

I worked with a client (let's call her "Pancake Patty") when I first started out who I knew didn't have a lot of money. I gave her a killer deal on a logo/stationary design package (basically turning peanuts into currency). We went through the motions and when the final invoice was sent, I received a shrieking phonecall about how I was ripping her off. Design was easy, she claimed; I couldn't have spent more than 20 minutes on her logo (cue eyerolls). To top it off, she told me she wasn't going to pay me because she didn't even like it (this after spending a lunch presentation with her where she gushed about how everything was perfect). Only after uttering the legal consequences did I get paid HALF and then have to listen to a sob story about how Christmas was coming and she didn't have any money left. If she were attractive (or smart), I would have suggested selling her ovaries for some extra holiday cash but instead I took the partial payment and walked away from that trainwreck. If anyone tells you it's easy, point them to MS Paint and wish them the best.

CLIENT #3: FAMILY & FRIENDS The third tier of client to avoid are those you spend time with at Christmas, Thanksgiving and all of the other Hallmark holidays: family and friends. They will never understand what you do. They won't even pretend to take interest in the difference between Quark and InDesign. As far as they are concerned, you are nothing but a hipster who should have gone into medical studies rather than art school OR someone who wastes time doodling on a Wacom tablet. They are probably slightly envious, but that's beside the point. Dealing with family and friends is the most stressful business relationship one can have.

It's amazing the number of "friends" (moreso acquaintances, to be honest) who phone me up after months/years of not hearing from them asking for some free work to be done. While I'm not totally heartless, I reserve the freebies for those who are close. Not some "schmo" who worked in the cubicle next to me ages ago who has now formed a band and is desperate for a CD cover. One which I will illegally download, just out of spite.

If you are thinking of branching out and freelancing full-time, don't let these horror stories deter you. While you are more than likely to encounter them at some point, you will also collaborate with wonderful people who respect you and your craft. They make it all worthwhile. To sum everything up - while paying your dues, don't forget to get paid.