You think that appliance in your kitchen doesn't think for itself? Wrong sucker. "But how can that be" you ask? Shut your word hole you toast eating studel sucker! Your complacence may cost you your measley 'Yes Sir/Maam, I think we should kill some of the creative' ass. While you sleep, dreaming of winning that advertising award that no one cares about except you and other award needing sloths, your toaster plots your death. "Oh is that the paper towels that they left next to me? Muhahahaha!" Yes, that's right you pencil pushing ad hack, your toaster will burn you to the ground, and they will bring in another fresh out of ad school impressionable moron to do your job. Your toaster doesn't care for you, it has no feelings of remorse. It is the toaster jihad, and it will martyr itself in the name of taking you out. It's manifesto has been typed and your name has been mentioned. So sleep well tonight for your toaster takes no power naps, and does not need Becki's special breakfast blend of coffee to stay alert, all it needs is its burning hatred of you and your pop tart inhaling petty excuse for an artist/businessperson human meat sack to fuel its loathing.

Sweet Dreams