It's easy to start your own ad agency. What with FedExKinkos, you don't even need equipment or an office! You can build your foundation on the wet-sand that are your ideas alone!

But the key to starting your own agency, especially if it's the smoke and mirrors job that 90% of them are is to have a KICK ASS website. Here's a step by step guide to how you can have your very own ad agency website.

1) You need a name! Why not do what most agency owners do and use your last name? That was easy. Of course, you can't let on that it's just you. If you don't have any business partners, you should just make some people up. Tell your clients they're away on a shoot. It will make them look important. Or, you could just use the name of your favorite cartoon character. For example, my agency would be Lefton and Marvin the Martian.

2) Once you register your domain name it's time to start building your site. What do all agency sites have in common? A flash intro! That's right. You want your flash intro to accomplish a few things. First, it must list your philosophy in little blurbs that fly across the screen. Things like "DYNAMIC" "ENGAGING" and "CENTRALIZED" are cool. Then you need some circles, squares and triangles of varying colors all flying around. They need to fly around for a while because then it seems like your agency is all wacky and creative and has the resources to spend months on just the intro to your website, when in reality the intern hopped up on coffee did it in two hours. Eventually, everything should settle onto the page to form

3) The Navigation. This should be somewhere on the page where no one would expect it. Perhaps on someone else's computer entirely! The harder it is for someone to use the navigation, the more technologically advanced it seems your company are and the more backwards and insecure it makes the user, meaning more money for you!

4) Now you need an opening statement. It should describe your agency philosophy, and what kind of clients you want. You want any clients who have money, so you should list as many different fields as possible and claim you worked in them. When you went to the doctor last week, did you tell him his logo could be a little smaller on the business card? Poof! Pharma experience! Start billing at $300 an hour pronto! A good opening statement usually begins with "At Lefton and Marvin the Martian, it's our belief, based on the 2139821308021 years of combined experience of our executive staff, and by executives I mean we give out that title so we don't have to give raises.." and ends with "...to ensure the overall quality of your brand."

5) You need to have your own patented integrated marketing strategy. After looking at thousands of sites, these are the three that are not yet taken. Hurry up and grab them! A) "Our patented 360 brandwheel surrounded integrated marketing in a viral traditional integration approach" B) Our integrated circular spinning marketing integration. C) Our surrounded marketing viral integration of marketing for buzz

6) You need to show the work. Your work sucks, so you want to show someone else's like the work you'd actually do if the client let you do anything cool, which they won't So you can still do your crappy work. See, it just doesn't matter.

7) You need a contact page with the fewest ways of contacting as possible. This makes you look really important and like you can't be bothered with trivial details like new business. "You can email us on Tuesdays from 4:01am-4:04am." would work great.

Presto, you have an agency website. Now go get some accounts!