I joke with people that I used to live on the corner of Drug Addict and Homeless Person. I still live in that same building. However, today, that building is considered the only residual slum in an otherwise up-and-coming neighborhood.

So..not so much for my benefit as for everyone else's, I want to bring the "Punk" spirit back to the East Village. I would love to once again see the day when the 6' tall woman wearing a rainbow mohawk, a leather trenchcoat, and enough body piercings to hang a shower curtain, in July, was a rather ordinary sight in these parts.

We may not see much of that..but we can keep a tiny piece of that spirit alive with some East Village Band Names. There was a band called "Disturbed Furniture" that played CBGBs a few times. I understand that they weren't any good, but that doesn't matter. Gentrification tends to quash artistic freedom in favor of ..whatever fits into the neighborhood. I'm not in favor of artistic freedome that's imposed on the neighborhood by way of extremely loud music in a residential building at 2AM. But...barring intrustions on people's "personal space" (another gentrification term), we need more of that old East Village spirit. I think one way we can bring some of it back is with the old style, old school East Village band names.

So..how do you CREATE an East Village band name..in the spirit of Bonzo Dog Doh Dah Band. Well, creativity shouldn't be formulaic. BUT in the spirit of gentrification, I figure that a formulaic way of forming a band name isn't the worst idea. As such, here's my East Village band name formula /recipe

Step 1) Pick an obscure noun (pomegranate?).... Step 2) Pick an obscure adjective totally unrelated to that noun. Step 3) Put `em together Step 4) If you can't picture what type of music they might play, go back to step 1. Otherwise, you have your band name.

"Disturbed Furniture" was around long before my little formula was. Thusly, bad as they are, they were creative, and I'm a hack. But hacks make money too ;)....Using this formula, I've come with "Unadulterated Meat"...I figure they could have opened for "Disturbed Furniture" in an evening of music, you'd never want to hear.

So..what would YOUR East Village Band name be?