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milking the cow around te world

by Richard Track
Sunday, May 20, 2007. 10:33AM
652 Views 6 Comments

find out different methods used in the arab countries and the rest of the world ....

DUBAI SYSTEM You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise in all magazines and Cable TV. You create a Cow City or Milk Town. You sell off their milk before the cows are milked, to both legit and shady investors, who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two month time. You bring Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods to milk the cows to attract attention.

QATAR SYSTEM: You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows, in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

SAUDI SYSTEM: Since milking the cow involves nipples, the gov't decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have the cow at one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other side; or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.

BAHRAIN SYSTEM: You have two cows. Some high gov't official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The gov't tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the govt and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decide to employ ten Bahrainis to milk the remaining cow at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

LEBANON SYSTEM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria, the other by the Lebanese gov't, both are milked by Syrian Laborers during their free time as informers.

EGYPT SYSTEM: You have two cows. Both vote for Mubarak!

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows and have no idea what to do with them. It doesn't really matter, you go on strike anyway because you feel you need three cows.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and find out you have five cows. You count again and find out you have eight cows. You count again and out you have 20 cows. You are so happy, you stop counting and open another bottle of Vodka.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad

AN INDIAN CORPORATION you have two cows both are sacred...and cannot be milked even if a big percentage of the people live in poverty

care to ad yur "favorite country" in milking cows please be my guest

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Comments

 6 shown
Tuesday, May 29, 2007. 03:10AM by Richard Track
good things are made to last :) thx for the input
Friday, May 25, 2007. 07:40AM by Andrew Kelly
That clip gave me the heebie jeebies.
Friday, May 25, 2007. 06:51AM by Buddy 'Friendly' Wachenheimer
IRISH and POLISH COOPERATION: You have two cows who like to talk, a loud mouth bull dyke and a double talking right wing girl next door (who is also the dumbest person on TV) http://www.ejb.com/video/16440/Rosie...
Thursday, May 24, 2007. 06:55AM by Andrew Kelly
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: you have two cows. you and your brother Vincenzo argue about the best way to go about milking them. you say the best way to milk them is a circular, clockwise motion "lika dis." but vincenzo claims a yanking technique is most effective "lika dat." neither of you can compromise so you begin arguing. the arguing continues, and days become weeks and weeks become months, so you give the two cows to your sister Maria, who milks them "lika dis ana dat." you never wanted to be in the milk business anyway; you don't talk to your brother for a year.
Thursday, May 24, 2007. 06:35AM by Andrew Kelly
A SPANISH CORPORATION: you have two cows. it took you two weeks to realize you had two cows. they since wandered off and demand their territory be autonomous. so you take a three hour lunch and then a siesta.
Monday, May 21, 2007. 01:59PM by Jonah Hughes
A MEXICAN CORPORATION You have two cows but discover that there are no corporations in Mexico so you decide to take your cows to the United States. You sell your two cows to McDonald’s for chicken sandwich. CHINA SYSTEM You have two cows. You decide feed them dog food and they die. You sell the two dead cows to the United States. The United States milks the two cows for all they’re worth, then slices them up into cow patties. A dozen or so law abiding Americans drink the milk and bar b q the patties. The American citizens get sick and sue the FDA, who in turn sues China, who in turn threatens to pull all of its’ cash from the American economy. The FDA announces that China is the new supplier of Milk for the entire United States. A CANADIAN CORPORATION Eh, you have two cows. But your neighbors to the north have 2 billion cows. You threaten to kick your two cows out of Canada. Nobody notices. Nobody cares. NORTH KOREA SYSTEM You don’t have two cows. You wish you had two cows.

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