Leading a group is not for everyone, but it seems without fail, that the people who are least capable of doing so have a knack for being promoted past their ability level (and sanity range) into leadership positions. The higher you go, the more "special needs" children we encounter. This is one of the few cases where you thank GOD it's lonely at the top. We have all had our share of crazy bosses, human mood rings, volcano conversationalists, dictators, blockhead space cadets and ego maniacs. (bonus if they're all the same person) While it's funny to complain about how awful they really are, i think there are several people that have done it much better than me, so i'm not going to try to rebuild that superhighway.

What i AM going to talk about is how to deal with them. As maddening as it is, you always have to realize that it could be worse - and you have to draw humor from the pain. Dealing with bad bosses is actually a blessing in disguise - solid gold, actually - if you plan on working for a while; you'll get lots of them. It's actually a lost art - being successful either in spite of or BECAUSE of a bad boss. I haven't had all the bad ones there are out there (and none of the truly creepy/vile ones, thankfully!), so i can only talk about the types i HAVE had with any authority at all. The first step after your horrific discovery that you have one of these human viruses is to understand that you have to level the playing field - in your favor. If they are playing checkers and you are playing chess...you have to find commonalities to take over the game.

Bonus if any of these has the memory of a goldfish (3 seconds, for those of you that don't know).

The Control Freak: You cannot even poop without CCing them or getting their approval on everything. They hoard all incoming information so that your department is constipated with projects that have not been delegated properly - and like anything else with a due date - these projects start to "rot" as they become grossly overdue (and every project becomes a "rush" project). You end up either starving for something to do - or you are the one who has to stay retardedly late unnecessarily to fix the deluge of sudden mess. This person makes you jump through hoops in their presence just to get them to acknowledge YOURS. They do not delegate and do not teach (it would threaten their "power"), so communications are bad, and the department sinks into chaos when they are not in the office (and them being out of the office is rare, because you will often find them spending late nights and weekends there) - because no one knows how to do anyone else's job. They control all avenues of communication outside of your immediate department. They won't let you communicate with others UNLESS they've told you what to say, how to say it, and in some cases, they even monitor the conversation while you're having it. Often, the control freak has a temper imbalance - much like a human mood ring. They are often obsessed with titles (their own, and those of people who rank higher than them) and will not fail to pull rank - even in a small group (and especially to the people that work under them of lesser rank). They will find ways of demeaning you or making you feel somehow stupid or inadequate (you know you're not).

Classic examples: Lorne Michaels, Nigel Wick (Drew Carey Show)

The way to win more battles than you lose with this one is to recognize that you have to pick your battles, first off. Some things you just have to let go, and laugh about them later. The battles you pick must give the ILLUSION that they are not relinquishing any of their power by giving you more responsibility - this works especially well if the work you did makes them look good. If you can get away with it, tell them what you're going to do, and ask for their "permission" to do it after you've already started. Don't ask for stuff to do. Do stuff and then ask if you can KEEP doing it. Use different avenues of conversation (IM, email, etc.) to keep a record of your communications. You can save IM sessions, if you don't know (and some workplaces allow IMing intra-office). Keep a notebook and take it to every meeting you have with this person. Write EVERYTHING down. Whatever they tell you, write it down, get proof, because they may (read: WILL) try to deny it later if something goes amiss. Learn to ask direct questions - and don't stop until you get answers. Lastly, whatever you do, don't lose your ability to laugh at the insanity of the whole thing. The day you first get a job is the day you cross over to the other side of the looking glass, and we're ALL mad here.

This is a strategy game, and you can play it without compromising your self-worth. It works just like Monopoly. You have to play it little by little, property by property until you control the board. You have to determine the board though - is it a promotion? is it bargaining power for a new job? your sanity? your self respect? Figure out what you're playing for, and then go all-in. Happy gaming and stay tuned, fellow Mad Hatters.