Hold your head in your hands and repeat after me: "I don't understand it, all my professors said i was awesome! I went to (insert school name here), damnit!"

Congratulations, you graduated. You have a student book. Everyone has told you you’re wonderful all throughout your life and your college career.

The real world could care less. Your diploma will not get you a job, nor does anyone owe you one. In fact, the world owes you absolutely nothing. If you are of the attitude that people need to pay attention to your presence when you come on the scene because you’re special (so says your diploma thingy), you are in for a long sad career as a placeholder in the unemployment line wondering why a genius such as yourself isn’t getting hired.

This is such an important point, it bears repeating again: nobody owes you anything, least of all their time, attention, and money. There are now a few generations of kids out there marching in and out of higher education with the sense that the world owes them everything because they’re special. Everybody told them so when they were growing up. Oh they’re special alright; special ed. And unfortunately, that’s insulting to the special ed kids, and I’m sorry. I give more credit to the special ed kids, because at least they give their all – for everything – just to function. They earn the right to be a complete human being every day, which is a lot more than can be said for millions of kids that were brought up to believe life was like pee wee soccer and if you don’t win, you tie so nobody has to lose. No matter what they call it or how shiny they make the trophy, if it isn’t first place, it isn’t first place, and everybody knows it. That’s how the world sees it, no matter what your parents tell you. And above all things, they should’ve at least told you that. Sound harsh? Tough. Life is gleefully unapologetic about being in your face and unfair.

School, no matter which one you go to or how much you pay for it, is not anything close to the real world. On the ad planet in the real world, when you enter the ring you’re playing dodgeball. Advertising is a full contact sport, and often, it’s also your own teammates who are trying to make you a piece of the wall mats. One of many things they’re not going to tell you in school. You want the ball? You’ve got to fight for it, poindexter. No one’s going to give it to you. And speaking of team, you’re going to be part of a group for your entire career, should you choose to quit whimpering and pay attention so you’ll actually have a shot at getting the ad job you think you deserve. If you play well with others only insomuch as they just listen to you and bask in your self-assumed intelligence, this career isn’t going to work out for you. Pick something where you can get into middle management somewhere in a cubicle farm.

And this doesn’t pertain to only creatives…this goes for all departments.

Teams are dynamic. Which means for as many strengths as they have, they also have weaknesses. What are YOU going to do for THEM? Hiring managers look to strengthen teams, not make them imbalanced. They do not owe you an explanation about what THEY are going to do for YOU. Arrogance and self-importance are a great way to show how inexperienced and unintelligent you really are. And the faster you show that off, the more it tells them about how poor your problem-solving and negotiation skills are. They’re a great way to show how difficult to train you’ll be, and that you’re the wrong person for any job.

Getting your first job is tough. (at least for 99% of the population) You are going to get frustrated, you are going to make mistakes, and you are going to get rejection letters that you could use to re-paper your bedroom walls. It’s just part of how it goes. And it’ll go that way more and more if you don’t SHOW someone how valuable you’re going to be. You’re speaking to people that have hundreds of resumes/books a day cross their desks (many unsolicited), and it’s rather laughable that you’d think a unique selling point is going to be “I’m special! I’m different! My diploma from (insert school name here) says so! I am now ENTITLED to a job.” Are you serious? Oh wow, you are. That’s sad.

The ad world is a loud, messy, fun, unfair, frustrating, creative, bloody, rock ‘n roll, hard-ball, knuckleball, intoxicating, amazing, backroom brawling place to be. There is absolutely nothing in ad school that is going to tell the person you’re interviewing with that you’re in any way ready for that. Your internship (if you even had one) was play land. Whatever you DO ought to be ten times louder than anything you’re going to SAY. Everybody knows you’re going to make mistakes. That’s not what they’re looking at (at least at first). They’re looking at how you handle the “getting back up” part. Whining that nobody understands how brilliant you are is a stunning way to prove exactly the opposite. It saves the creative director/media supervisor/account supervisor the time of actually having to get to know you first before they decide you’re not the right fit. If you can’t understand why you’re being dropped faster than a scalding plate, that attitude probably has a lot to do with it, and it will continue to poison everything you touch until you truly realize the world does not revolve around you, and that you have a lot to learn.

You want to learn skills? Great. Why should that impress a potential employer? The way you just said it makes it look like as soon as they spend their money, their time and their people teaching you, you’re going to leave them high and dry with your new skill set – completely at their expense. And if that happens, it usually eats enough of their budget for the year that they can’t hire someone new just to replace you, let alone alleviate any further workload on their existing team. They’re out money and manpower. Why would they want to hire someone to do THAT? What’s their motivation to completely buy into getting ripped off? Yet again, one of MANY reasons nobody owes you a job.

I’d rather hire the person who came in and demonstrated that not only are they intelligent, but they have a sense of humor, good hygiene, a real hunger to learn (which requires humility), and a passion for the business and the work. I want the person who’d even be willing to start out in the agency mail room and working their way up, learning photoshop on their spare time, or taking a night class in Excel. * hint * starting in the agency mail room is actually a GREAT way to get started. You’ll know everybody, and everybody’s business. If you think you’re above that, then this isn’t the business for you. You do what you have to do if you want in badly enough. I’d take a person like that over an ad school droid afraid of dirt. If that person happens to have gone to ad school, then fine, but it is definitely not something that is going to weigh heavily in the decision or entitle them to be a shoo-in for the position.

Alright, get to the point, I know. So here it is: you want a job? You want people to wake up and realize how brilliant you are? Quit whining, grow some stones, get off your ass and your ad school laurels, scrape your knees and PROVE it. That won’t guarantee you a job, but it’ll definitely put you on the right track and in front of people for more of the right reasons.