Of late I have been noticing posts that basically give tips to us moronic creative types on how to run a successful ad agency.

They are as follows:

1.   Snag a client. 2.   Take down his brief (no pun intented). 3.   Add four or five words of jargon to pad it and pass it on to the creative team 4.   Ask for several options. 5.   Reject until deadline looms. 6.   Curse creative team and show client ad anyway. 7.   Client incorporates necessary changes and wants the logo increased by 500% with 50 starbursts and 5 coupons. 8.   Kick creative ass. Give them lessons on how to be “business-minded” and a “mature professional” (which they have heard N number of times in their prior agencies). 9.   Focus on bottomline, forget headlines. 10.    Please client, his wife, his golfing buddies and his great grand aunt ( all who indirectly add their own two bits). 11.    Release mediocre, dull, committee-driven ad which downright insults the customer’s intelligence. 12.    Back it up with million bucks of media spend and brainwash customer rather than gently persuade him. 13.    Claim success for sales which had nothing to do with the advertising but other factors: monopoly, weak competition, great distribution, dealer push, strong existing brand equity, etc. 14.    Reduce creative director to figurehead. 15. Rationalize bad ads. 16.   Suck up to potential clients at trade gatherings. 17.   Go to Step 1 and repeat entire process till you can sell out to big network agency.